Fighting For Truth To End The Lies

First Amendment Rights…Um Not Against Family Court Corruption

 

All of my rantings, I mean writings, have been designed for people to understand, excuses used by people, all people, only aid the greedy. Groups touting their “rightness,” completely miss the whole point. They are so blind, they can’t see, that those they expect to help them, are in fact robbing them blind. So here is the point, one more time. 

If you are a litigant, locked in a Family Court somewhere, anywhere, and you attempt to bring your first amendment rights into play, to warn others of what has been done to you, beware. Just as the CourtWhore website just experienced, if you dare to expose the nature of the beast, that is Family Court, you will be threatened with a lawsuit.

 They will not tolerate our exposure of their sick, twisted games, that have them all, rolling in our hard-earned money.

 It doesn’t matter that your rights of due process were violated. It doesn’t matter that your Judge/Commissioner may have blatantly broken laws regarding ex-partee communications with appointed favorites at tea (or the favorite watering hole) nor will it matter if  your Judge/Commissioner appointed a sexual deviant to “Evaluate” you, your disposing spouse and your children. (As in the Los Angeles Times article this past weekend) It is irrelevant that Family Law Codes are broken and ignored. Nothing matters. Judicial Immunity Rules the Land. And just who do you think is going to set the laws straight? Another Judge, in another court? Are you kidding?

 Forget the fact that the Marin County audit into the appointments of third parties, showed clearly that these people the Judges/Commissioners constantly, and continuously appoint to present their slighted and bias opinions were not qualified. 

To dismiss their short comings, we are disregarded and our complaints are swept under the rug, in a business as usual Judicial scam. We are but silly litigants, disgruntled at best, that actually thought that Justice system meant JUSTICE. We all misread that word. People, I am sorry that our lives have been destroyed and our children are forever scarred. But, we should have understood, that the word was actually Just-Us.

 So my advice to anyone currently suffering in Family Law courts, GET OUT. Get your life back. Find a mediator, meet with your disposing spouse and work it out. Get someone uninvolved in the judicial system to write a stipulation. You hold the power to your own destiny. I don’t care how unreasonable your ex-spouse is, or how unreasonable you think they are. Present the children as the victims of this entire corrupt system, and work it out from there. Stop the insanity that has been eating away at all our lives.  

It will take some time. It won’t happen over night. But if you are really in this for the best interest of the child, then you can make it happen. If you have some issues, that cause you to be the less friendly parent, take a moment and assess your true self. Maybe you need to take some parenting classes. If you are the friendlier parent, and the other parent will not budge, then ask them if they like living in court. Or if they really believe this is the best place to raise a child. Sit your children down with both of you and discuss, like adults what the two of you, as the parents, want and need, as well as what the children SAY they want and need.

Now for the other parents, who aren’t quite so innocent; You know who you are… If you are in some way, any way, abusing your child, seek help. Get out of your children’s life until you get help. Don’t deny it, just get help. Your children know what you are doing, regardless of who you got to lie to protect yourself. You may think you’ve got everyone fooled, but you don’t.

In either case, send them this article. Do whatever it takes, but for God sakes,  get away from the COURTS. They want you to be there, they don’t want you to work it out. They don’t care about your lives. This IS their life, this is their career. But, we don’t have to aid them in this. If we unite, to stop the corruption, the only way to “out them” for the selfish, bastards they really are, is to cut off their livelihood. 

And to all those Judges, Commissioners, Attorneys and Third Party Liars, I say this;

You’re all a bunch of wimpy, whiney, poopy pants. You can dish it out, but you can’t do the dance. 

If they don’t like their names listed in print, so others can be warned, then lets just run them out of business. Parents, unite, and end court corruption, by getting out of court and by cutting off their livelihood.  

 We all hold the power. We know the truth.

As an update to this post, here are two links to validate my thoughts. All parents should be outraged to see any abusive parent get custody of a child. All parents should be disgusted to see that third parties can live questionable lives outside the courts, while passing judgement upon us, and taking our children away for nothing more than their slighted opinion and highly paid lies.

http://www.sfweekly.com/2011-03-02/news/family-court-parental-alienation-syndrome-richard-gardner-pedophilia-domestic-violence-child-abuse-judges-divorce/

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/feb/27/local/la-me-kenan-20110227

And to the parents who make protecting a child from abuse so hard, SHAME ON YOU!! GROW UP.

Typical Father’s Rights Hate Mail…Oh, when will they learn?

As an update to the previous article “Finally some truth from a great group of real men”, I received this comment.

“My God, how the Hell is wanting access to your own child, “male supremacy”?! Women are awarded custody of their children in 95% of cases; with many fathers not even going to court, and instead resigning themselves to an absolute pittance of access. Do you guys truly claim that these 95% of fathers all DESERVE such limited access, as they are all abusive, and that out of the remaining 5%, many of these are also abusive? That is the only implication of what you say. And yet you claim to be for “equality”? You are not interested in equality; like all feministic groups, you are instead pushing for more and more female privilege.

Tell me: if you’re for ‘equality’, how is it, then, that you’re clearly in favour of men having even less than the 5% success in custody battles, that they currently have? Where is the ‘equality’ in trying to make even more UNequal, an already-very-UNequal statistic?

Truly, I hope you “men against sexism” find yourselves some day having to live with the daily TORMENT of being separated from the children you ADORE; what’s hilarious is that, given the current divorce rates and bias against men in the family courts, a significant percentage of you WILL.”

While I am not affiliated with the group NOMAS, I found their article and group very refreshing. So the banter and insults from this ” Loving Father” as he calls himself, were out of line and hateful in my opinion. This “Loving Father” clearly missed the entire meaning of the post, wants to quote fictitious percentages of custody cases, just like all problematic parents who instigate outrageous litigations through LIES.

Then when I did not immediately post his comment, he sent this, ” Lol, my comment has already been deleted; shows how well you lot can defend your views, doesn’t it? You truly are pathetic.”

So this is for you, “Loving Father.” Do you feel better now? Here is an entire post devoted to your narcissistic self.

Perhaps you should go back and read the article. Perhaps you should go back and read all my articles. This is not a gender war, like you want to make it, this is a war against LIARS. The Father’s Rights funding is a main factor in these custody cases. The Government spent several millions of dollars on a “Responsible Fatherhood” program for the past five years. Now they are implementing even more money. If you are such a great Father, why do you think the government needs to waste taxpayer money on a fund for “Responsible Fatherhood?” Never mind, you are just too thick.

And from the sound of your responses, and my first gut impression of you,  you might need some anger  management classes. Maybe you could get the Father’s Rights groups to pay for it, or better yet, the taxpayers.  

Have a nice day, “Loving Father.”

Alert The Media-Well, You Can Try

In a newly published article on Huffington Post, the true story about John Edwards is finally told. It outlines clearly his ability to lie, and convince others with ease. As noted by a un-named mental health professional;

“John Edwards believes what he says,” the professional said. “He says whatever he can to make people like him. He turns it on in public. In private he’s abusive and selfish. What kind of man asks his friend to take ownership of a human being HE fathered? That’s unheard of.”

“Edwards looks at himself as above the law. He has a compromised conscience — meaning he will cover up his immoral behavior at whatever cost to keep his reputation intact. He believes he is who his reputation says he is, rather than the immoral side, the truth. He separates himself from the immoral side because that person wouldn’t be the next president of the United States. He overcompensated for his insecurities with sex to feed his ego which feeds his narcissism.”

But why did the Media sidestep this story? Why did it take YEARS to get Edwards to admit, that the stories published in the Enquirer were actually TRUE?

“While much has been written about the Enquirer‘s scoop, the key element of how Edwards was caught has never been told — until now. The untold story (to borrow one of the Enquirer‘s famous catch phrases) is that it took the perfect meshing of technology and psychology to rip the Edwards-affixed label of “tabloid trash” off the mass-ignored expose and force him into a confession.”

It took careful planing and strategy to unfold the story, which had been true all along. No major media sources would touch the story but why? Why are they all so spineless? Thank goodness the Enquirer stayed committed to exposing the TRUTH.

“Our sources told us Edwards thought he could survive the affair admission personally and politically. At the time, it was good enough for everyone at the Enquirer. The articles, the investigation, the nearly two years of work, had been vindicated and instead of an expensive yawn-inducing tale no one believed, we had a great political scoop.”

“Journalists asked if we had a hidden camera in the room. We never said yes or no. (We still haven’t). We sent word to Edwards privately that there were more photos.”

“He cracked. Not knowing what else the Enquirer possessed and faced with his world crumbling, Edwards, as the profiler predicted, came forward to partially confess. He knew no one could prove paternity so he admitted the affair but denied being the father of Hunter’s baby, once again taking control of the situation.”

People lie. Rich or poor. It is unfortunate however, that if you are not among celebrity status, you won’t be able to utilize media sources to obtain the evidence the courts won’t allow you to present on your own. And of course you can’t follow someone around on your own and try to tape them, because you will be charged with stalking. But, hang in there, eventually, some how, some way, the truth will always come out.

Read the whole story here; http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-perel/john-edwards-affair_b_816599.html?utm_source=DailyBrief&utm_campaign=020111&utm_medium=email&utm_content=NewsEntry&utm_term=Daily+Brief

Finally Some Truth From A Great Group Of Real Men

The National Organization For Men Against Sexism (NOMAS), has called for men and loving fathers to join them in their cause to end sexism. They warn men to avoid getting caught up in the “Father’s Rights Groups.”

“male supremacist groups (“Father’s Rights”) have caused unspeakable harm to our country and to our children by encouraging abusive fathers, often with little past involvement with their children, to seek custody as a tactic to pressure a mother to return or to punish her for leaving. “Shared parenting”, “friendly parent”, involvement of both parents and other concepts that seem fair and benevolent have instead been used to manipulate courts and legislatures to help abusive fathers. For instance, women are routinely denied custody of their children after being classified as “unfriendly” for asserting that the husband has abused them or their children.”

In an article written by Trish Wilson and re-posted on the NOMAS website, Trish Wilson hits the nail on the head when she explains how the father’s rights groups latch on to men.  

“Father’s rights groups prey on confused men angry and sad over the break-up of their relationships by stoking their rage and insecurities. In addition, father’s rights groups encourage men to fight for custody of their children by using harmful tactics that further erode their relationships with their ex’s – and by extension their children.”

I applaud this group. They see how destructive these groups have been to loving fathers, mothers and their children.  

Read full article here. http://www.nomas.org/node/244

In Another article from NOMAS calling for Men’s Organizations and Allies for support of protective Child Custody,  they say,

“Male supremacists do not speak for the vast majority of men and fathers. We invite organizations of men opposed to men’s violence against women and exploitation of children to join us in speaking out in support of protective mothers and for reforms in the custody court system so that children will no longer be sent to live with abusers or separated from safe, protective mothers.”

Education is the key to end the Corruption in our Family Courts, who fail to protect children in abusive homes for profit, by allowing bogus excuses to hide abuse.

“Parental Alienation Syndrome (sometimes disguised by use of other names for the discredited practice) is an unscientific theory that is used to prevent investigation of children’s reports of their father’s abuse. Unscrupulous professionals use it as a way to make money while ignoring the destructive impact on children’s lives. Male supremacists debase the discussion of child custody issues by personal attacks and attempts to substitute repeated lies for information based on scientific research. NOMAS condemns the male supremacist tactics and instead supports the work of protective mothers to make safety of children the highest priority of custody courts.”

http://www.nomas.org/node/222

Profit Over Protection = Greed And Corruption

Please watch this video, as this portrays the very scenario that is destroying children and families for a profit.

We need more awareness of this growing pandemic of greed and corruption. Most people have no idea they are walking into a snake pit when they go to court to protect a child from domestic violence, child abuse, or neglect. They will become shackled to the system for years, with no chance of escape.

 

We are told we have to follow the proper channels, yet all the while, it seems that it’s just a scam to defraud good parents out of their hard-earned money. These people who the courts are appointing to “dissect” the families and the children, are intentionally misrepresenting the truth about the best interest of the child.

 

If these so-called “professionals” were to come in, assess the situation, listen to the children, and come to decision that would make sure the children are placed in the most positive, healthy, and supportive home, they wouldn’t make any money.

 

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the best interest of the children by any means. Courts not only rely on the false 730 evaluations, they are also using the back up excuses of a Minors Counsel or Guardian Ad litam. We need to expose the corruption of the Judicial System, which has become all too  familiar to families destroyed over the past few years by these practices. 

 

Custody disputes that are fairly easy to resolve become suddenly labeled “Contentious” for the sole purpose of dragging it out for profit. If the parties can not afford these services that the courts are demanding, they then become the liability of the tax payers. So, not only is this a senseless financial drain on the litigants, it becomes everyone financial responsibility.

 

Now enter the emotional abuse inflicted upon the innocent parent, of whom only sought help through the court system, but instead became the target of a well planned attack to twist the truth, and turn the victims into the accused. All the while, the real accused abuser, slips through the system being protected at every turn by those of whom the court appointed. It’s a scam. The sole purpose is to award custody to the parent least deserving, so the case continues, over and over, for years, while the descent parent tries in vain to protect the child.

 

It’s a hopeless situation, unless more attention is brought to light to stop the courts from appointing liars to misrepresent the children, denying us all of our right to due process. 

Leave It To Father’s Rights To Twist Everything Good, Into Everything Bad

The Violence Against Women’s Act is described as the bill that is “the greatest breakthrough in civil rights for women in nearly two decades.” It addresses issues relating to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. This Act is for the protection of ALL women and children, yet out in force again are the Father’s Rights groups twisting something so wonderful into something ONLY used against men in a divorce.

 

“Since its original passage in 1994, VAWA’s focus has expanded to address—in addition to domestic violence—dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. It funds services to protect adult, teen, and child victims of these crimes, and supports training on these issues, to ensure consistent responses across the country. One of the greatest successes of VAWA is its emphasis on a coordinated community response to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking; courts, law enforcement, prosecutors, victim services, and the private bar currently work together in a coordinated effort that had not heretofore existed on the state and local levels. VAWA also supports the work of community-based organizations that are engaged in work to end domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking, particularly those groups that provide culturally and linguistically specific services.”

 

“The World Conference on Human Rights, held in Vienna in 1993, and the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women in the same year, concluded that civil society and governments have acknowledged that domestic violence is a public health policy and human rights concern.”

 

Now enter the excuses to deny protection…

 

“The World Health Organization conducted an extensive study on worldwide domestic violence. Released in 2005, the study analyzed data from 10 countries and sheds new light on the prevalence of violence against women. It seeks to look at domestic violence from a public health policy perspective. The survey is viewed as controversial by many because it did not assess the extent of partner violence against men, and its failure to use a validated survey instrument.”

 

Right there, “Partner Violence” being the diversion. Is that because a man out jogging in the park at dusk, probably wouldn’t be as vulnerable to a rapist, as say, a woman? Is it because the statistics of men being brutally raped and murdered, are NOT as prevalent as the evidence from 10 Countries supports, that happens to women? That’s what this Act is about, not simply family violence, like they want people to believe.  If these Father’s Rights groups spent half as much time educating each other,  on just being good parents, and educate men in general, that violence is AGAINST THE LAW, perhaps there wouldn’t BE so much violence in the world.

 

Listed in, “Under Debate and Legal Standing”

 

“The American Civil Liberties Union had originally expressed concerns about the Act, saying that the increased penalties were rash, the increased pretrial detention was “repugnant” to the US Constitution, the mandatory HIV testing of those only charged but not convicted is an infringement of a citizen’s right to privacy and the edict for automatic payment of full restitution was non-judicious (see their paper: “Analysis of Major Civil Liberties Abuses in the Crime Bill Conference Report as Passed by the House and the Senate”, dated September 29, 1994).”

 

Right to privacy? Are they kidding? Just like Father’s Rights, they are looking out for the abusers, not the victims. If your child, sister,  aunt, mother, cousin, niece, nephew, etc. were raped in the middle of the street by some drug addict or pedophile, don’t you think THEIR RIGHTS TO PROTECTION and their rights to know if they now have HIV trump the rights of the perpetrator? Or the increased penalties were rash? Why give these people so many rights, so many excuses, SO MANY CHANCES? Victims don’t get second chances.

 

At least the ACLU isn’t making excuses.

 

“The ACLU, in their July 27, 2005 ‘Letter to the Senate Judiciary Committee Regarding the Violence Against Women Act of 2005, S. 1197′ stated that “VAWA is one of the most effective pieces of legislation enacted to end domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. It has dramatically improved the law enforcement response to violence against women and has provided critical services necessary to support women and children in their struggle to overcome abusive situations.” 

 

What about the victims of assault who didn’t know the perpetrator? Should we as a society deny protection for ALL women and children, because the Father’s Rights groups don’t like it? IF there is no need for this Act, then how come 10 Countries believe with their EVIDENCE that it’s needed?

 

Two stories that intertwined comes to mind. Chelsea King, and Amber Dubois. They were both victims of convicted sex offender, John Gardner. Gardner targeted these two, raped them and then murdered them. There is a group, which I will not name, that is fighting against the current Violence Against Women’s Act, and would rather twist this into a domestic issue, divert to problems of false allegations (because to them, all allegations of abuse are false), and not the protection for all victims,  that it currently is. One thing they are pushing for is “counseling, not incarceration.” I have to wonder, if the parents of Chelsea and Amber feel that Gardner needs counseling to help him, and NOT incarceration.

 

This is just ludicrous to me. But, nothing should surprise me, when it comes to twisting the truth about Violence, and Protection laws. It has been, and will remain to be, something easily manipulated by major Father’s Rights funding and their bias groups, to protect criminals. Period. I have said this before, and I will say it again, victims don’t get second chances.

 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act

Court Appointed Liars

 

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all the people all the time.” ~ Abraham Lincoln   “Always tell the Truth. That way, you don’t have to remember what you said.”~ Mark Twain   “The biggest consequence to telling a lie is, it leads you to telling another one.”~ Gary King   “Who lies for you will lie against you.” ~ Bosnian Proverb “No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.”~Abraham Lincoln “A half Truth is a whole lie.” ~ Yiddish Proverb “Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.” ~Austin O’Mally “With lies you may get ahead in the world – but you can never go back.” ~Russian proverb “A lie has speed, but Truth has endurance.” ~ Edgar J. Mohn “It is the responsibility of intellectuals to speak the Truth and expose lies.”~ Noam Chomsky   To all those people, who decided it would be far more lucrative to present lies to the court, in order to ensure a pay check, instead of ensuring the best interest of a child, your days are numbered.   Children have the right to protection, the right to live their lives in peace and a healthy environment, and without fear. If you deliberately lied to the courts, to place a child in a home, where the child/ren DID NOT WANT TO LIVE, your days are numbered.   We are uniting to OUT THE TRUTH. We did not deserve the torture, abuse, deprivation, or lies you told. We are good parents, who only wanted the best for our children. BUT due to your greed, our children are forever scarred.   We will not go away, we will not shut up, and we will never give up. We will continue to expose each and every name, of all of you, who made a game of profit out of our children’s lives. You will be brought to Justice. You will be painted the liars that you are. And you will be before the court yourselves, to justify your motives and actions.   You are guilty of maliciously and intentionally misrepresenting the TRUTH, which is against the law. For all the solid evidence you failed to present to the courts, which you replaced with fictitious reports full of opinions and not facts, you will be found GUILTY.   Our children are priceless, yet you managed to put a price on them all.  But all the money you made, by fraudulent statements, will never be enough to repay those you have harmed.   Change your ways on your own, and return the children to their loving homes, or we will bring Justice to you. We don’t need your dirty tricks, excuses, or lies, we have the truth on our side.   It’s your choice, but it’s our mission.   Thank you to the Court Whores website, for exposing the names of the liars.  http://www.courtwhores.com/index.html

Father’s Rights Exposed. Don’t Be A “Dick.”

Dr. Richard (Dick) Warshak, (WarShark) in his own words, just destroyed the Father’s Rights movement where it started. While he himself may not know he did it, he did. 

His insults of course are for the parents today, who are unjustly losing custody as a direct result of the lies these “Dicks” created. He is jumping to defend all third-party excuse pushers, so they can continue to suppress the truth in custody cases,  for profit.

This is a quote from Warshak, “Some of these extremists have lost custody of their children in a ruling that seeks to protect the children from severe doses of divorce poison. Rather than recognize the rationale for the court’s decision, these people believe that the judge either was biased or was foolishly taken in by the other parent’s allegations.”

 So here is my take on his position. WAY BACK WHEN, father’s rights ”extremists” decided that ALL family courts were bias against them, and that they always made rulings in favor of the mothers, and the courts were foolishly taken in by the mothers  allegations. So they created the Father’s Rights movement and sought out anyone who would help them lie to get custody. Enter a greedy, sick, little man, who actually convinced people, that having sex with children is okay (because that was the first part of the ever-changing definition of PAS), and protective parents were over reacting. This greedy ”Dick” (Richard Gardner) created the term, Parental Alienation Syndrome, (which up to that point did not exist)  to help them gain leverage in custody disputes.  They MANipulated a fictitious syndrome, for the sole purpose of custody leverage.  

BUT in all actuality,  WAY BACK THEN, the courts understood that children had stronger bonds with their mothers. That there was merit to the mother’s concerns, if there were any, and they LISTENED to both sides, and awarded custody based on FACTS. The courts were intuned to the thought that perhaps the father’s that were seeking sole custody, would in fact be more apt to bad talking the mothers. (which they were, thus the movement and the fake syndrome)  The courts had it right way back then, and these “Dicks” just couldn’t handle the truth. 

But, in another greedy twist, and a lot of funding by Father’s Rights groups, the Courts learned that they could not only use the Father’s Rights funding, they could in fact make even more if they played a dangerous game with the safety of these children, and drag custody cases out for years, for profit. Third-party “Dicks” cashed in gladly, at the expense of good parents who expected Justice. The Father’s Rights movement created ALL the problems that ALL parents are experiencing today.

Dick WarShark is just that. A shark that feeds off the blood of our children. Children have died because the courts would rather bring in pretend experts, allow trendy catch phrases to explain away a child’s fears, and make money.  

 Here is an entire website devoted to exposing Warshak, and his new trendy catch phrase “Divorce Poison.” http://pasisascam.wordpress.com/category/dr-richard-warshak/ 

While the Term P.A.S, or P.A. is growing old, he and his cohorts,                 (co-whore-ts) needed to switch things up a bit. Change the dynamics around, to see if they can now try to make sense out of nonsense. Now, mind you, this Dick and others, make their livings pimping out  opinions for big money. But this “Dick” decided to add in, the newest catch phrase, “divorce poison” to see if he could revamp the already discredited Parental Alienation Syndrome definition. Let’s now revisit the statistics from Dr. Herb Goldberg from my previous post, “Is it Parental Alienation Syndrome, or is it you,” where Dr. Goldberg studied mostly ”intact” families, and the relationship between father’s and their children, and found that for whatever reason, the relationship was fractured.  ”Intact” families, so how can Warshak now say it is “divorce poison.”

Goldberg also noted one father, as understanding that he could try to blame the mother for the fractured relationship between he and the child, like so many father’s rights extremists do, but understood that it had little or nothing to do with her. Now, that’s a REAL father in my book.

“While he could blame his wife for ‘poisoning’ the children’s minds and promoting the alienation, it became clear that it had little to do with her. His children just didn’t like being around him. While he had been the ‘perfect’ father in terms of his commitment, caring and devotion, he couldn’t connect with them. In their minds he was a know-it-all who lectured them and always knew the right way to do things. They disliked him and learned to tune him out.”

 

So to all these “Dicks,” who create diversion tactics, to dismiss the TRUE feelings of the children,  STFU!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lies, Lies, Lies. Enough. It’s Time For Truth

Judges, forensic psychiatrists, trial attorneys, police and experts trained in lie detector tests all fail in detecting a liar. Only one group is trained how to spot liars, and it’s the Secret Service. 1/3 of the Secret Service scored 80% in detecting liars. 

So then why, if the Family Courts and their appointees are not trained in spotting liars, do we expect them to be able to make a ruling that ensures the best interests of the children? Why do they have the power to ruin so many lives on a guess? Profit.

It is far more profitable to ignore the truth, propel the lies, and keep parents shackled to the system.

Lying by omission? How many court appointees are guilty of this?



Outing Truth, To Stop The Lies. Our children deserve better than this.

New Article Out on 1-04-2011 http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/111710/wary-investors-turn-to-lie-pros

Is It “Parental Alienation Syndrome” Or Is It You?

Did you ever stop, to ask your child/ren what they wanted? Or did you just force your own wants upon them through the court? Did you need the help of  “Court Appointed” third-party liars, to twist things your way? These are questions that all parents crying P.A.S should ask themselves before jumping on the B.S. Bandwagon.

 

In cases where a child is resistant to a parent, voices (or tries to) their position on where they want to live, it seems that it’s more of the ego of the parent not chosen, who would rather blame everyone else, than look into themselves.

 

I don’t know how anyone can support P.A.S. because logically, there is NO way to prove what the child/parent relationship was PRIOR to the divorce. It is completely here-say.

 

There is no solid evidence for P.A.S.,  no solid proof, or anything tangible to prove Alienation. It is solely a here-say “syndrome.” Only if, every parent and child under went a monthly evaluation from birth forward, would someone be able to pin point when the relationship fractured, and what made it fracture. Studies show that children have either bonded or not to a parent by the time they are three or four. Most of these studies are from married couples. No divorce, no B.S. Alienation to  blame it on, it just happens, for whatever reason. However, in abuse cases, we know the reasons. It is the ego that created P.A.S. as an excuse or diversion tactic, to the underlying parent/child conflict.

 

Court ordered no contact with a child, is not P.A.S. It’s retaliatory punishment, for daring to challenge the “opinions” of third-party greed mongers, created through custody litigation, when we dispute the excuses given to the courts, and for not allowing true, hard evidence.

 

I wanted to learn about human bonds, when they are created, how they are created etc. I found this article by Dr. Herb Goldberg. While I read it, I got the distinct impression that he really doesn’t have much respect for women. Seems like we are all just manipulators and bitchy. Well, after reading his article I have to seriously wonder, just exactly who the REAL manipulators are. His article screams out to me, that it is the fathers who are manipulating relationships, wanted or not, to stroke their egos, control the situation, hell, control the world. Dr. Goldberg, understands children’s perspectives pretty well. He seems at least genuine in his attempt to educate and open the eyes of these fathers, to look inside themselves, and see what their real motivation should be. Their children, not themselves. (And while this article was written for men, I think all parents could learn how to really assess the truth here, to do what’s best for the children.) 

 

http://www.everyman.org/articles/Ten_Reasons_Not_to_Fight_Custody_Battles.pdf

 

Dr. Herb Goldberg says, ”Growth for fathers means to gain awareness of how it is for the child to be with them, rather than fighting for their ‘right’ to parent. It is traditionally masculine to turn a relationship problem into an issue of right and wrong, or a battle over rights. However, it is my belief that a protracted custody battle, and the perception that the courts discriminate against men and prevent them from being fathers, is largely delusional and a final nail in the relationship coffin of men.”

 

“I have seen men impale themselves emotionally and financially in misguided, destructive custody battles. They are victims of a classic masculine blindspot, the belief that the relationship to their children has to do with schedules, access and not letting mother ‘win’ or control the children. They spend fortunes of time, money and emotion only to discover that the ‘victory,’ if accomplished, was hollow.”

 

“How does all this relate to custody issues and battles? These power struggles over access to the children are usually ludicrous and pathetic as two parents nit-pick over the exact amount of days and times that they will spend with the children. The custody battles are misguided and redirected control and revenge battles that have nothing to do with the children and their welfare, nor will the outcome of these battles affect the deeper relationship between the children and each parent, except for traumatizing and polarizing them. Particularly once, when the child is more than three or four years old, the die has been cast. If the bond is positive and present, little will disrupt it except temporarily. If the bond is absent or negative, the custody fight will exacerbateit. The more dad battles mom for custody, the more the children will recoil from him, as they perceive their mother as being abused. If he ‘ wins’, he will have won less than nothing as any potential for positive bonding has been seriously damaged.” 

“How a father is experienced is usually something a dad can’t see, any more than most men can see when they are being blatantly manipulated and used by women. Call it ego, cluelessness or denial, fathers can’t see it, and children disguise their real feeling out of fear or cynical indifference and disdain. What fathers aren’t aware of, however, is the real reason father-child bonds dissolve, Were the bond there, no amount of physical separation could dissolve and destroy the relationship.”